Home sharing

The morning arrived once again whilst it was still dark, so I took the cover and pulled it up over my head to keep the heat it until daylight appeared.

Reach out and touch, reached out and called,  the trouble is having had trouble with a fraudster today, I immediately put the phone down, the phone rang once more and somewhere in my dim and overloaded brain the word Relocation and Israel hit a nerve, 'Oh Im sorry', yeah right I couldn't admit to this rather nice American with a very odd accent that I had deliberately hung up thinking she was after my money............ In my sweetest English accent, you know the one, when you try and smile as wide as you can to appear sincere, when really you are saying ****, ****, **** I advised my new friend she would be better phoning the land line.  Phew got out of that sticky situation rather well I thought!!!!!

Call answered and I'm now top of the email chain for a rather nice American with an odd accent who wants to relocate me, 'Will you be transporting an Automobile' yeah right I can just see them shoving my Merc into a rather small container, as we have very little to take with us, just open the car doors and shove it in.  Will you be taking any alcohol? 'Is this a trick question?' and how about food? 'yep we like it, how about you?' probably not a good idea to take food in, they sell it there, Yeah but I bet you cant get mealie puddings????? and don't get me started on Stovies or Haggis.

Deep breath in, Buba...............Ah he was sleeping when I arrived but I managed to wake him, discreetly obviously or Buba Mumma would give me her scary fish face, fortunately the little pinch I gave him didn't make him cry or leave a mark......So gorgeous, smiles till bottle time, then its down to serious business, bib wrapped around the neck, and off we go, guzzle, guzzle, I was getting rather hungry myself by this stage so sharp exit.

My Beloved called as I was driving to the Deen, bemoaning about tools, his tool, their tools, everybody's tools. Blah, Blah, Blah, oh shit thats not what a supportive wife is supposed to say. Oh baby, tell me all about it...............yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn.

Arriving at Richmond Place, I was greeted with a laptop, itunes and a bunch of music that needed converting,  So I decided I needed food, and walked back out again.  Prezzo oh how I love it, we ordered.  The food was delivered, unfortunately not ours, well not the Old Bags, the waitress was called over and happened to be carrying what appeared to be the Old Bags requirements, 'Did you touch it' she was asked, 'yep I licked the whole bloody thing doh', she still took it away and replaced it with the correct meal, pity the poor devil who got the licked pizza cos my teeth weren't brushed today, or yesterday.

We arrived home sometime later and began the arduous task of home sharing, the Old bag now has an up to date eclectic mix of music in her itunes, and I cant believe that I have had to educate her into the ways of defrag and clean up, 'no when you shut the lid it doesn't complete the tasks you have scheduled'.