And so the time has come......

Well it has arrived, it has not occurred as I thought it would, life has a habit of tilting so your forced to hang on incase you should fall into the oblivion, this said I have been hanging on for a while now, and today the decision was made to let go.

Goodbye dear blog you have served me well, 14,800 page views is not to be sniffed at, family have been informed of our escapades, friends have followed us from restaurant to bar and sometimes to bed, toured with us through the wonderful country that is Israel, there are not enough words to describe the love we have for this country, its a hidden gem tucked away between the devils and the deep blue sea, should you have an opportunity to visit Israel, take it, grab it and run with it, but don't expect your visit to be easy, you have to peek around corners, lift up gates and never, ever expect to find something where you think it ought to be, this is Israel, vibrant, colourful, loud, beautiful, hot with the occasion rain storm, and full of wonderful people who just need to know you are their friend........

I wonder what Luanda has in store!

Naked and Gym two words that should not go together

Most of my day was spent trawling the streets looking for clothing, well when in Rome do like the Romans, when in Cyprus you shop like a Brit, a very deprived Brit...

The weather took a turn for the worse today, so much so that shops were closing early due to the fact that things were flying and it was becoming dangerous out there, I had to curtail my shopping as staying upright was becoming an issue, so I headed for the hotel and the gym.

I was doing my HIIT minding my own business, taking no notice of the guy next to me, when I suddenly remembered where I had seen him before, it was his shorts that gave it away, I was actually admiring them, not because of any deviant reasons you understand, but because I was thinking 'they would look nice on me', anyway last time I saw him was in November when we were staying here and nothing has changed much, same shorts, same stupid exercises and the Piece de resistance,  the T shirt was removed, oh dear god what is it with these people, firstly the Russian in the bikini, and now a Greek who obviously thinks he is Adonis, but actually he is more like Pee wee Herman.  I'm sorry but what is the need to remove your shirt when working out, I almost had a convulsion on my bike, but managed to steady myself until he left, if your gonna prance around the gym "please keep fully clothed", I appreciate good form as much as the next person, but I still wouldn't want to work out even after Brad Pitt semi naked had sweated over the machines jeeeeez, and this Greek was no Brad Pitt.

We made our way across the road for supper, it was as far as we could get due to severe wind, not ours you understand, the weather had really bolstered and keeping an upright stance was even harder than this afternoon, our supper was delicious although My Beloved is starting to complain as I keep stealing his meat, and he is left with the carbs, well thats what getting married is all about 'sharing', and I will share his meat and he will deal with it......

The morning after...

I woke feeling quite refreshed after a great nights sleep, one of the benefits apparently of a carbnite, I decided to try a HIIT at the gym to again try and deplete the carbs from my system, I chose the stationary bike for my HIIT and watched as different people came in and out of the gym, a young child around 6 years old arrived with his Granny who was wearing a bikini, Granny then proceeded to get onto the other stationary bike and begin exercising, I thought I was gonna puke, and made my disgust known with a very loud 'Offft', she wasn't even wearing shoes the minger..... Luckily she didn't last long but could I find the bleach when she left, because that was the only thing I could think of that would remove the filth from the tarnished saddle.

I sweated through my routine, fully clothed I might add and with the necessary towel for wiping purposes, I then headed for food, the trouble is that it was streaky bacon again and that stuff is rubbish so I contented myself with boiled eggs and cheese. 

I decided to try the new Mall at the far end of Limassol and took a taxi, when I arrived I then realised that the No 30 actually goes directly to the mall, I walked around the stores checking out their wares, changed My Beloved's socks I had purchased previously for a different kind as is his preference, then headed for lunch at Ocean Basket where I chose cod from the grill.  I took the bus back into town, Limassol is as cheap, if not a little cheaper than Israel for bus journeys, EUR 1.00 for my trip and as far as I can figure distance within Limassol is not a problem.

I hit the gym again this time it was with weights, I threw the dumbbells around and puffed my way through my routine, until my arms were shaking and then headed back to the room where My Beloved was waiting, we ate separately as I decided not join him and his work colleagues for supper, I like listening to My Beloved talk about his work, but listening to 7 others talk shop all night gets tedious regardless of who pays the bill....

I think I peaked too soon

Monday was Green Monday here in Cyprus, what that means exactly as far as I can gather is the start of Lent, usually occurring at the start of Spring and is a festival where flying a kite is the main past time.  We sunned ourselves at the hotel and decided that the Cypriots of Limassol obviously don't like kites as we only saw two flying in the skies around us.  The sun was very hot and sun cream was applied, not before My Beloved had over done the topping up of his tan I might add, but nothing too drastic this time thankfully.

We headed across the road for lunch today I took their burger 100% lean beef and cheese, and oh dear god it was good, the best burger, and we are talking proper burger not veggie burger I think I have tasted, I left the bread and the salad and the chips, they still insist on putting on my plate, and then ate half My Beloved's 250g burger you know why? because I could and not once did i feel any guilt, this no carb eating is just great, not uncomfortable, no horrible bloating, always a boost.

Late afternoon we headed for the gym for another heavy session My Beloved has to spot me now as the dumbbells are getting very heavy for my lickle arms, its a little tricky when you don't have bars and you have to adapt with dumbbells as they can be quite awkward but I'm getting there, and My Beloved is quite impressed with my lifting prowess now, me I just want it heavier still...

Our evening was spent at a lovely restaurant in Limassol up near the port, the restaurant was called Artima and my beef fillet was delectable, cooked to perfection and the staff kept checking everything was ok, probably because I only ate the beef, but I did warn them.. My Beloved ordered a pork fillet dish which arrived with the pork rolled into towers, and inside the towers was cottage cheese, figs and other such delicious treats and it looked lush, we even managed coffee's I settled for an espresso where as My Beloved chose a Royal Liqueur coffee, he also got the two chocolates that arrived with the coffee's, I have to say he has been getting a lot of biscuits just recently too as I'm not doing any carbs, poor soul will have to endure this diet of mine but at least he gets the carbs I don't eat, which actually could work against him, good job he is doing a little manual work just now so at least he can burn it off.

Tuesday arrived and I only have one more day until I get my carbnite, today was more tricky as for some reason I was a little more hungry than usual, but I did not falter, amazingly.  First thing I headed to the gym and did a HIIT session before breakfast, then it was a quick jaunt up to the laundrette to get the washing done, before heading to M & S for a few bits and pieces then, back to collect the washing, which I then hung around the balcony, over the chairs and patio table and along the line in the bathroom, the room had suddenly turned into wongs laundry, but the smell of fresh washing was delightful to my nostrils.

Wednesday woooohoooooo Carbnite begins at 3pm, breakfast was the usual eggs and bacon but I really am getting a little tired of fighting the fat off the bacon which is not exactly crispy, but its not soft either, there is a great Scottish word which would describe the state of my morning bacon and it is 'Chook'.. I can't wait to get home and cook some of my 3kg of Bacon the wonderful Dobbsy has given us, and it won't be chook thats for sure.

Julie and Oydis arrived at around 1pm for a wee visit before they headed out again to view some houses, they and Snorre are staying in Nicosia just now, and are looking at housing between here and there, Oydis is three months old now and just gorgeous, a pretty little girl who is growing up way to quickly as babies usually do, Julie is looking fantastic, if I hadn't seen her during her pregnancy I would not have believed a baby had ever lived in her pixie like figure, it was just lovely seeing them again.

Three pm arrived and that meant one thing 'CARBNITE BEGINS" I walked to the supermarket only to find it was closed for half day, I then walked to Debenhams and found that they also follow the same silly half day rules, I had no other choice but to walk to Starbucks and get a skinny cappuccino and a low fat muffin, then being greedy as usual I walked the rest of the way to ColdStone and the biggest ice cream I could find, bad move having been deprived of carbs for ten days the sugar rush was almost instant and the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach was a little like carrying a food baby under each breast..... taxi for a fanny, bing, bang, bosh and I was back at the Crowne in need of a snooze, My Beloved arrived back from work around 7 to find me wallowing on the bed moaning and groaning, he just laughed and pointed and said 'I knew you were gonna do this to yourself', I told him to go forth.......lol

My evening meal was beef with chips, and although I couldn't finish them I thoroughly enjoyed them, my next carbnite is in a week and I will be a tad better with my choices next time, hopefully there will be no wallowing, moaning or whaling, or the harpoon may have to come out.

Cycling, carnivals and sleep

This morning I hired myself a bike and headed towards the old town area and meandered through the streets, I found some very nice stores and eventually remembered my body needed sustenance as if had not seen food since this morning around 8am, and that was after the gym session.  The trouble with being on a very specific eating plan is that when it comes to eating out in Cyprus you are hard pushed to find something that isn't soaked in BBQ sauce, smothered in chips or lathered in some sugar based sticky dressing, this has to have been the most severe of all the eating plans I have ever been on, if I was home this would not be an issue, but when you are out of your own environment and you have to plead with people not to give additives to the very plain food you require, and still they bring you a bowl of this and a smidgen of that it can really become a drag. The lovely waitress at the hotel did try, firstly with  bread, then with salad, and eventually bought my fish with a small bowl of steamed veg that wasn't touching my fish, it all looked lovely but I still didn't eat it, so really it was a waste of food. Wednesday is carbnite, two more nights to go and I am gonna pig out it such a way that I will surround myself with shit and work my way through it, it won't be pretty and it's gonna get messy, but I really don't give a damn, I will have earned it....

Friday and I was collected by Shelley and transported to Pafos where we went for lunch, Shelley ordered a sweet that was gargantuous I am not allowed to put it on facebook or even tag her with the said sweet, I have been warned, but it was the most deliscious looking brownie with custard, and because of the size of it there was enough left for her to take home and share with the staff at the pub... The boys eventually turned up around 8pm and we had supper in the pub, in Pafos.

Saturday - My Beloved had to work this morning, been a while since he had to work a Saturday, been a few occasions when he has gone in for a few hours or had to work on the computer but a full days toil is not the usual.  Anyway I contented myself with a walk around town checking out the beginnings of the carnival, stores and cafes were decorated and the atmosphere was starting to bubble up.  I found a lovely little restaurant where I was able to order a dish as I wanted it, and not as the waitress thought I should want it,

Sea Bass with Spinach

and it was luscious, I sat in the restaurant and watched the vintage car parade go by, clowns drivng cars, nazi's on motor bikes, and little children hanging out of sun roofs, I eventually took a taxi back to meet My Beloved at the hotel, luckily he is not into work tomorrow so we get to see a little of Limassol together and of course its Carnival day.

Carnival day arrived and we headed out, but not before I ran back up to the room for my jacket as it was a lovely sunny day but the wind tore right through Limassol and fairly turned the temperature down, we hired two bikes and headed into town, we found the start of the parade and found ourselves at a cafe where we decided it would be rude not to take coffee, that done we once again headed around town on our bikes, before finding a nice little restaurant for lunch, I took chicken kebab and once again had to plead with the waiter not to give me anything else just the meat. My Beloved took the regular tandoori chicken kebab with all the trimmings, My two chicken skewers were squashed full with my delightful chicken choice and it was a struggle to finish it, but I did, My Beloved on the other hand managed his chicken but left almost half of the chips the salad went untouched and the pitta was half eaten too.  

Eventually we left and headed back up to watch the parade go past, there was fire dancers, and a zombie wedding, people dressed as rubiks cubes and mermaids, men in dresses driving tractors and bob the builders carrying hammers, adults and children alike dressed and dancing through the streets of Limassol, it was just a pity if was such a windy day, Mark joined us at the hotel,  I headed for the room and left the boys to their shop talk, and then around five My Beloved and I headed for the gym, MY Beloved spotted me for a couple of the exercises and was quite impressed with the weights I managed on my chest press, don't ask me the numbers because as we all know number retention is not my forte..

We had a lovely meal at a cafe bar along the seafront, I ordered the salmon and My Beloved the carbonara and he managed to eat the lot, I threw him over my shoulder and carried him home.  Early night for us I think we were in bed for 9.30pm.......

Cyprus, Knickers and Bras

This morning we woke at three to make ourselves presentable for the flight to Cyprus, we were collected at 4am and transported to the airport, taxi ride short, queuing at the airport not so short, the initial queue to get the bags through the X-ray, and then to get checked in was amazingly quick, but once we tried to get through the departures X-ray we were confronted by a herd of Ninjas' and their offspring of which there were many, I have often been tempted to lift the long skirt of a passing Ninja woman and check if her pelvic floor is dragging along the ground, because 10 plus babies is apparently an average, I'm squinting just thinking about that.

Anyway we eventually got passed the surly security guard whose mother needed to slap some manners into him, but obviously decided against it for reasons only she would know, and we were free to browse the duty free, bored! 2 mins later and we were sitting with our water and diet coke chattering about the state of My Beloved's sandwich, soggy was an understatement, I'm sure he could have rung the bread out and used the juice to rehydrate his tuna had he not been cowking at the thought of even attempting to eat the disastrous choice of sandwich he had made.

Our flight was pleasant, mine because My Beloved slept and I had peace to read my new diet book, My Beloved's because he got to catch up on his sleep as he had lost out due to a need to empty his bladder half way through the night, they say age doesn't come itself, maybe its his pelvic floor that needs checking....

Our driver was waiting with his sign, and whisked us off to Limassol and The Crowne Plaza, upgraded to a sea view, don't mind if we do. My Beloved left for work and I headed out for some retail therapy. 

I had no sooner left the hotel, crossed the road than I was stopped by a man from New York, initially I thought he was lost and was looking for directions, obviously not for New York but around Limassol, but I am not sure that it was directions on his agenda, I left him after telling him I was here with My Beloved and he left me saying I had a lovely smile, quite funny really cos I'm sure I had been scowling not minutes before he stopped me as the sun was directly in my face so much so that I hadn't even seen him coming.

Anyway I meandered the roads and stores Debenhams was first up, and then I wandered around until I happened upon M & S, I really thought I was in retail heaven, and the fact that the store closed at 3pm and not 1pm like I had first thought was music to my ears, so from 12.30 till closing I strolled those aisles searching out the bargains, tracking down the undies and scouring the clothes for items I have been deprived of since being in Israel. Then it was time for coffee in their cafe which was a lovely space, open and airy and the staff were very helpful, as were all the sales girls who helped me with discounts on knickers and the like, I felt a little like royalty the only thing they didn't do was offer to carry my bags, although they did offer to call a taxi for me.

I strolled down the road with my arms laden with goodies and eventually found the bus stop and decided my sore feet needed a rest, well until the bus arrived and I hopped on and paid my Euro to take me to the Crowne, I headed straight for the lobby bar as I had not had lunch and food was required. I ordered fish, and told them to hold the sides. One really shouldn't read and eat at the same time, I nearly jumped out of my skin when the American from New York strolled up without me seeing him and started speaking to me, he is staying in the hotel, offft, and he once again told me about my winning smile and laugh, and asked if my Husband tells me this????? Ok so the heaby jebbys are setting in now, he left again, only to return a little while later and this time he told me his name, ALAN great Alan is going to be a pain I can just tell, he left once again.

So I eventually left the lobby bar and headed to the room with my bags and then headed out again as I needed a sim card for My Beloved as his works number is worse than useless and he is like me without his connections to the outer world, lost....

Whilst walking back across the road, I caught sight of ALAN once again only this time he was chatting to another woman in the street, I'm hoping he prefers her winning smile and I will no longer be a person of interest.......

I forgot to mention the bra incident, having asked to be measured an eyebrow was raised when I said the size I usually wear, and I was told no, no you don't need that big pfffft, but when I tried on the bras I was given and I showed the lady as you do, I was told yes they are good for you, they fit, please! when I raised my arms my boobies tried to escape under the wire and the lady still insisted they fitted, I may need new bras but I think I will wait till I can get to Bravissimo because those guys know how to fit a bra......

Our evening was spent eating at Nandos of all places, I just don't get that place at all, the chicken was nice enough even though the waitress thought I was demented when I told her 'No please I don't want the two sides that go with my dish!" but the best thing about the meal was the coffee a double espresso oooohhh it was heaven.

We were in bed relatively early as My Beloved was afffa tired having spent his first day back in a manual saddle since last May, think I may have to shovel him out of bed in the morning!

This Rib is Cracking me up, and not in a funny way

And still the pain continues....

Relocation, Relocation

Yesterday the second of three companies came and took notes, asked for power of attorney for our belongings and left, totally different from the first guy who arrived with his clipboard waved his hand said no bother and left.  The power of attorney bit was a little unsettling and I could see My Beloved twitching, you also have to understand we have no destination as yet and no moving date so this is all a little hypothetical.

The neighbours are back, MTV full blast yesterday morning just to drown them out, obviously Viv the vixen had a lot to say having been away the best part of three weeks, but does she have to do it at decibels high enough to shatter glass.

I left MTV blaring and headed for the gym, after sweating on the bike for 40 mins I felt a little less stressed and headed back to the apartment for my shower, then My Beloved and the German relocation guy arrived and then it was time to kick some ass, not mine you understand but the opticians.

Yesterday I collected my new glasses, I just knew I should have waited till we were in the UK and seen the lovely girls in Turriff, when I collected my new varifocals I told the woman I can't see out of these glasses, to be told that I need to wear them for a while to get used to them, this I understood as I already have varifocals and actually do know how to wear them and use them, what I didn't understand was how I was going to be able to see through a lense that was not set right and waaaay to strong for my eyes. But I did as I was told and took them away with me, wearing them through the streets of Herzliya and then I drove into Tel Aviv, what the hell........ that was one awkward drive and the fact that I couldn't even read the speed on the dashboard told me there was something a little off with the new prescription.  By the time I had walked up Carmel market and back again I was beginning to feel nauseous, I couldn't see the floor unless I bent double in the middle and even trying to see in the distance was difficult as I was having to keep my chin on my chest to align my eyes to the correct distance lense.

So I took them back, I had actually figured out how I was supposed to wear them by this time, tilted with the feet half way up to the top of my scalp and the glasses pointing to the floor, bonny......

I took My Beloved with me for back up, this didn't help much as he remembered he had left his phone at home or so he thought and panic set it in, he left me..... I was taken in retested and jiggled and joustled and then told they would make new lenses for me, they also tested my old glasses the ones I told them I had perfect vision with, but the worst was to come I was asked to stand to get measured and the guy took my head and tilted it down, I promptly told him that is not where my head sits in space, and tilted it back to where it belongs, why the hell would you measure glasses when a person is in a position alien to their normal stance, yes my head tilts back when I am standing, my chin juts out a little, but don't adjust me and presume all will be well, I have neck issues to prove this will never work thank you very much.  

So now we wait for the new glasses anticipating the worst and praying for the best...

Upset my man upset me, upset me best start running

The exercise routine has become a daily activity again and sometimes twice a day, still no upper body exercises for me yet but by the end of the week that will be sorted.

Our weekend was started on Thursday night watching Bruce Willis whoop ass and kill all the bad guys, I do love a bit of escapism, and even bald Bruce is easy on the eye. Friday we headed into Tel Aviv our mission was to find spices, now you would have thought this would be easy, but no, I had directions from Scotland as to which spice shop I was supposed to go to and numerous pictures of spices stores and owners were sent to Banff but god alone knows which one it is, well god and Sonya because I couldn't find the right one, I now have Shakshuka spices and Lebanese spices for rice in the freezer and they will soon be dispatched to the UK, next time I am in to Carmel market I am going to video myself walking past the meat sections towards the spice section and then send it, I have already done this but from the wrong end, so hopefully we will be able to work out where this bloody shop is, its either that or the Duncan's will just have to come visit again before we leave, now there is an idea...

We stopped for lunch at a little cafe/restaurant just down from the market called Gadera and I had the most amazing lunch, it was a seafood Kubbeh a dish I have never tried before, it was three little dumplings filled with goats cheese, crab meat and shrimp in a fish bisque OMG it was delicious, this unassuming little eatery turned out to be a little piece of food heaven tucked away at the side of the market on Gadera, and it is amazing how if you take a few steps away from usual haunts you are faceed with delights that not only tantalise your tastebuds but make your wallet sing too.

We meandered through the back streets for most of the afternoon finding stores we didn't know existed and restaurants favoured by the local folk of Tel Aviv. Friday evening was spent in the gym before heading out for a meal at Yam 7 over looking the ocean.

Shabbat was spent cycling into Tel Aviv and heading for another restaurant for lunch that we had seen whilst traveling around yesterday, when we saw it the place was full and overflowing like most restaurants in Tel Aviv and when we arrived on Shabbat it was still quite early and very quiet, so we decided to check out the menu and then take a table, we both decided on the dish they serve only on Shabbat called Cholent, a Yiddish dish of beef potatoes and in our case beans, some add barley, some add dumplings, the dish is traditionally prepared overnight on Friday and eaten on Shabbat when no cooking is allowed or the lighting of fires, the result is a stew that is flavourful and filling and apparently people come from all over to eat the Cholent at the restaurant we had found. It was a simple dish and so tasty, the waitress was really pleased that we enjoyed it and that unlike our Jewish restaurant goers we had ordered in double quick time, something I have noticed here is ordering food takes forever, because although I don't understand the Hebrew I have decided these people must be asking for a list of the ingredients of every dish on the menu, thus ordering food is a timely process, well not unless your Brits of course.

40Km later and we were back in Herzliya Pituach and Mike's place, we spent the late afternoon watching football, I quite like that I get to see more than one game at a time depending on how I position myself on my bar stool especially as I have a very low boredom threshold, two bowls of chips with chilli later and we cycled home, now having been in a pair of shorts and a bikini top with a sarong most of the day was one thing, but when that sun dropped it was bloody freezing, so I pedalled very fast to get the blood pumping all the time hoping I wasn't gonna throw up my chips, mission accomplished.

Sunday, nope still hate the start of the week being Sunday, radio one is a nightmare My Beloved leaves for work and I expect every week to hear the breakfast show and every week I am disappointed to hear Gemma, now don't get me wrong I like Gemma but it just means that it's Monday via Sunday again.

Monday was spent waiting for the dishwasher man to arrive, originally it was 8-10am, then 1-3pm and he turned up at just after 12 go figure, he came in grunted turned on the machine used his phone handed it to me for my landlady to say yep he is ordering your part and will return in the next few days, obviously his English was as good as my Hebrew. 

Two sessions in the gym today have taken their toll my backside is sore and my sides are aching although not the ribs so all is good, Nati was in the gym today, she is one of my neighbours who I occasionally see when I am in, she said she had missed me which I thought was very nice, what she has probably not missed is my heavy breathing steaming up the mirrors.

I have learn't in life there are very few people you can trust 100%, and being a cynical type I have always mistrusted before I have trusted, this being said when I do trust I take it very badly when I get let down by people, but what is worse is when it is done to the people I love, I think I am a nice person most of the time, but when you upset the people I love this demon woman appears and you should be very afraid because she is currently tapping this computer keyboard with her temper only just in check..........

Am I dead yet

So yesterday was spent with my computers for company which can leave your brain a little frazzled especially when they don't behave in a way that is appropriate for your needs, who would have thought I would have a pair of computers and the one I want to use has an ego the size of our apartment block, I have to cajoule and coax the bloody thing into giving in and doing what I want it to do, not what it pleases when it pleases, I have to say my patience has been tested, so much so that we have even put it back to factory settings just to punish it and even so the ego comes screaming back, you can walk away from it and think it will sort itself out if you just ignore it, but no it waits in the corner until you are just about to touch and then shuts itself down and I swear to god its not a humming of the motors I hear when it restarts but a sniggering of the coolers.......

I have been on the imessage with Mr Wilson on numerous occasions over the last two days, his computer geekiness has helped me with my problems and I am confident that the ego problem will be rectified with his help, I just don't get seeds and plants, who would have thought trying to download would be so difficult.

Yesterday was my first visit to the gym and my second day of exercise, I repeated the lower body weight exercises previously done in the living room, by the time I was finished I had steamed up the floor to ceiling mirrors in the gym and deafened My Beloved with my groaning, we ate our supper in peace as neither of us had the energy to talk and eat, taking three weeks off exercise really takes it toll on you, lets hope that we are back on track and the rib continues to improve enough for me to be able to actually add my upper body moves to my workout.

All around is calm again

Having waited in all day for the handyman who I left on the door step previously, I now believe it was pay back time, he didn't turn up, I had the last laugh because I made roast chicken and butternut squash whilst I waited, and soup stock was chilling ready for another day.

First thing I had a little bathe in the sun before my shower, it was toasty in the garden, and the fact that the neighbours have been away since the Geordie boys arrived is very pleasing to me, I'm sure it wasn't anything the boys said.....

Now the only thing we hear from next door is the occasional clang of the broom on the wall as the housekeeper cleans, and even she has been quiet this past while, must have been the telling I gave her when she woke me screeching down her phone, do you know I just thought maybe it was her high pitched voice that shattered my glass.......

I have now taken to sitting on the windowsill, well luckily it is quite wide, because if it was anything like the one I had in the UK weight may have been an issue and I would have had to have been strapped on it as it was very narrow, anyway sitting in the sun on the windowsill is a very pleasant way to spend some time whilst on the computer and your waiting for the handyman.

My Beloved and I took a walk to the marina last night and tried to walk off the rather too large dinner I had prepared, we stopped in at Murphy's for a tipple and sat watching Ronaldo strut his stuff around the screen. My Beloved had ventured into the gym and worked his butt off on the treadmill then spent all night complaining he had been kicked in said butt, me I had jumped around the living room using the TV as my mirror, checking posture you understand, although working out in swimwear tends to give you no doubts that in fact YES you really do need to sort that body out, having been unable to workout properly since the rib incident yesterday was my first hardcore workout, all leg work body weight exercises, I was dripping by the time I finished and didn't dare flick my head to quickly for fear of sending it splattering into the TV and blowing the whole house, can't say I would have been too chuffed with that. 

We both tottered home ready for our beds, no way we a rock and roll just now, we are more Rockabyebaby ......

Go Forth and Multiply

So yesterday was my first shower in two days, this was taken mainly because I couldn't stand the stench anymore and secondly because I really couldn't stand the stench anymore, it was a slow process because although the feeling of carrying a ten tonne truck on my joints had been alleviated, it had left me very weary and unable to move at a speed resembling normal, that being sad normal never has been anything I have ever resembled so I am not sure why I would think my speed should be anywhere close to normal.

Dressing was difficult as I settled on a pretty pink dress that buttoned up the back, great I managed the lower three buttons and even managed with a little gymnastics the top two buttons but I had to walk to the office with the middle buttons open, to tell you the truth I really didn't give a damn, I was dressed and I was out in the fresh air, the sun was high and hot and it was a slow walk but very pleasant.

Obviously being unwell has taken it's toll on my sense of humour because we were seated on the bar as the restaurant was very busy, but the little Chinese woman waiting for a table sitting on the edge of my bar stool was lucky I didn't plant her one, and as for the Italian woman that forced My Beloved to move along the bar so she could get herself wedged in the corner was lucky I didn't lash her with my tongue, I had to keep taking deep breaths and remember I was in Israel, there is no YOUR space, MY space, it's OUR space, but when I pushed the Chinese woman and tapped her arse she did apologise and move, not far enough to keep her breath off my neck but at least off  my chair.

Hugo the handyman called as I was heading to the optician for an appointment, I told him I would meet him at home in 30, trouble was I was seen right away at the optician and completely forgot poor Hugo, he called I apologised and we rearranged.

I took the car and headed home after being put through the mill in the shop, talk about hard sell, I now have new lenses which I refused to take a six month supply of as I'm not convinced they are correct yet, comfort wise they are great, but I still struggle reading my facebook on the iphone, anyway they then set me up with new glasses and tried very hard to get me to buy new sunglasses with my prescription, as I explained I have never and will never pay £1,500 for two pair of glasses I would rather be blind, so I eventually got them down to a price that although indecent for one pair of glasses was actually achievable without taking out a bank loan, please god they are set right, having varifocals that are set wrong can be a right pain in the neck, and I mean that literally, having had some years ago made at high street chain I can vouch for badly set glasses, as I have said to the Prince's on numerous occasions buy cheap, buy twice, and I did that time and I had to go to an optician in Turra to sort me out after that fiasco. My daughter is currently having trouble with lenses from the same high street saving spectacle chain, I have told her to find a proper optician that will give her the time she needs and explain the problems with lenses properly, and not just tell her she has to put up with it, sometimes a little bit of time to explain issues will go a very long way.

Cliff Diving

I've always had this romantic notion in my head probably since watching Twilight, that cliff diving should be fluffy and gentle and into the arms of the man of your dreams whether is be Team Jacob or Team Edward, this would be decided entirely on your mood of course, but the cliff diving I was subjected to left me in a state of terror and levitating above the bed at least a foot on three separate occasions, I don't think I have ever experienced anything so terrorising as being woken from my sleep with a jolt to my body something akin to sticking your tongue on the electric element of your mothers old 2 bar. It also wasn't helped that when I eventually came down from my elevated state My Beloved was going up, trust me you fall that far down a cliff no one is gonna sleep.

Anyway over the weekend we had a trip to Tel Aviv for A Purim Street party, we rode in on the bus and started our day on Arlozorov, following the mass of people most of whom were dressed in fancy dress costumes, there were ladies in stilts that some would call heels, with short dresses and mickey mouse ears, Spongebob was on the walk along with the Pharaoh and his Queen, men in bras and girls in animal hats, the costumes were wonderful to see and the street was awash with colour from adults to children to dogs with wings on, there were Dj's all along the road and a huge stage in the square, the music was pumping and the people ON the bus stops were dancing, anything that was elevated was covered with people sitting and drinking and standing and dancing. We strolled through the street until we happened across Indira a little Indian restaurant we had never seen before, we had to stop and take a look at the menu, bad move we were hooked, we had a lovely meal and will certainly be returning very, very soon, it was crazy sitting in the restaurant watching, Moses and the Wizards, and the scared Lion walking passed, followed by the Smurfs and the Vikings and the Romans, if the UK did weather like Carlsberg does beer Halloween would be one hell of a party, the best thing I liked was the fact that the Israelis are not shy and getting on the bus in their costumes it is all part of the celebrations, in the UK we tend to hide in taxi's or cars prior to our celebrations, we need to embrace the costumes like the Israelis.

We wandered around the streets, looking for watering holes stopping when we found one we liked, the first being Hillel where we saw this cheeky little lady, she almost turned my Chardonnay rancid, we headed north from here and found another we place called Bugsy before we were off on our travels again, I quite like this bar hopping around Tel Aviv, I would have to say it has to come first in my favourite cities in the world, followed by London, then Barcelona then New York, It also has to be the safest city as a female I have ever been in, anytime day or night.

Our last stop before we headed home was Mike's Place on the sea front, we were in need of Mike's chips, and a chardonnay of course and Mike does make the best chips, in Tel Aviv, Herzliya and Eilat he has bars in all these place, and each one has the most amazing chips that we have found on our travels, and the other thing is Mike doesn't skim on his baskets of chips either, love love love em, if your gonna eat crap when your drinking it might as well be good crap.

I have spent the last two days in my bed, struggling with my rib which continues to be a pain, but feeling like you have been run over, once from the front and then once from the back tends to get a bit wearing after a while so I have taken to my bed and will be seeking medical advice very soon, well as soon as My Beloved's hebrew speaking receptionist gets back to work and can make us an appointment that is, I may have to take her with me for interpretation purposes, because trying to explain being run over without being run over could be a little trying..........

Drink, Drink, Drink, Drink, Drink

Never has my liver had such a bashing as it has over the last ten days during which time the Geordies and the Scots were in country. If there was a fight off I think the Scots would win the drinking contests hands down, cos the Geordies just can't handle it, well the men anyways..........

It appears that My Beloved is not the only one with an intolerance to vodka, it transpires that it is a Mather trait, male and female, there is not one Mather who can handle a night of the voddie without turning into something akin to The Hulk, but with more Mather, no aggressive you understand just more grunt. Luckily when the boys were here they all decided that vodka was the devil and should be avoided at all costs.

Well our last night with the Duncan's was spent bar hopping through the streets of Tel Aviv, we started in Mike's Place then headed for a fantastic Thai House meal on Bograshov, the meal was lovely and my glass noodles were an absolute delight, my tastebuds were singing and I even allowed everyone a taste, my hand only twitched to slap them once before I got it in check.  Arnie has decided that he needs Tattie soup when he gets home and we have had to listen to him, go on an on to Sonya about making it for him, so funny we laughed at his tales of spoons standing in bowls of tattie soup, and how they would have to buy beef on the road home from Aberdeen or he would not get his soup.

Jesus, Garry and Arnie

We had an amazing evening stotting from one bar to the next, we even met Jesus in one of the bars, and apparently I was drinking hot apple something or other with red wine, which when I was reminded of I suddenly remembered I


really rather liked that odd concoction, but it was the next day before I remembered with a little prodding that I had actually drank it, we had coffee's and cake, chips and wine, whisky and beer and all in no particular order. We stopped and chatted with a street vendor who made these beautiful puppets and finger bobs, Arnie had to buy Gargamel the sworn enemy of the smurfs just for some fun and started to talk to waitresses with it, we rather like Gargamel....

I am not sure how My Beloved has managed to get up for work fresh as a wilted Daisy everyday since our guests arrived, but every morning he has taken himself to work, either by car, by bike or even on foot and has managed to be very productive in all that he has tried, 10/10 to that Mather he is hardcore.

The Duncan's are now home and Israel is all quiet again, we have had a great time showing them around Israel a country we have grown in love with and are very sad to leave.

As to the leaving, well we are not going cold we decided we don't like it, so we are currently waiting, and waiting and waiting, watch this space for the next adventurous instalments in the trials and tribulations of The Happy Housewife............

Where the hell was I.............

Remember this, should you really be telling people information
when it is not your information to pass on

Ok it's been a while so this could be epic. The boys needed souvenirs and for some reason they seemed to be hidden from our sight so there was nothing else for it than to jump in the car and head for Tel Aviv market, now we were cooking, there was everything we could possibly need, including shawarma which they ate whilst walking through the market. It was a glorious day and we walked up and down collecting the things we needed, for me it was cheese, and for Craig it was fridge magnets, Glen settled with his shawarma, and they say Craig is the tight one hahahaha.

After that it was time to head back before I headed out to Ben Gurion once more, this time I was collecting The Duncan's, their flight arrived and they were ushered into the car and driven to the apartment they are staying at on the beach front, quick change whilst I waited at the lights with my flashers on, blocking traffic can be such a naughty thing to do, especially when usually it is being done to you, pay back is divine. Once changed we headed back to Herzliya left the car in the office car park and headed for Mike's place, and that is where we stayed watching the footie with the Mather boys, The Duncan's and the work mates. The trouble with being in Israel is the footie starts after 10pm which makes for a very late night, but all is good only My Beloved had to get up for work.....

I was rudely awoken the next morning not by Vivienne the vixen, but by her housemaid screeching down her phone in the garden and smoking tabs, she got a spare piece of my mind let me tell you, she has been quiet since!

I left the boys sleeping, well I think they were sleeping as noisy housemaid was below their windows, I headed to get my valentines, nail treatment and hair cut which turned into highlights, I did argue and say no! I don't want highlights but he was very persuasive, but I did put my foot down when he told me he wanted to create something with my haircut! I don't think so sonny, do you know how long it took me to grow it back after the last haircut, just trim it. So he huffed and puffed and with every snip of a very small piece of hair he flipped it over his shoulder with disgust, it really was quite funny. The end result was a very nice set of highlights which blend the white, I always thought they were grey but he informed me I had white hairs, great I went from grey to white overnight when did that happen, obviously being in front of the mirror with no glasses or lenses it not the best way to pick up on your advancing years.

So after spending hours and hours in the salon I eventually exited and went home for food I was starving, the boys finished the last of their packing and then it was time for the airport run again, Ben Gurion and I are becoming very well acquainted. The boys were dropped off and then again I headed home to Herzliya, My Beloved was in a presentation late in the afternoon and not expecting to be home early, but  surprise, surprise he called and I collected him then fed and watered him, the poor guy was wrung out. It was great having the boys over, my house is way to quiet without them, well apart from the neighbours that is.

Friday we headed into Tel Aviv to collect The Duncan's then we were off north to The Wine road and The Carmel winery for some wine tasting, well it would be rude not to, being designated driver can be so dull when there is alcohol involved, but it was all good I got to sniff each taster and then got to pick the wine we were buying to take home.  From the wine road we headed to Haifa and the Bahai gardens for photos before heading to the Germany colony for Fattoush, we were famished having not had breakfast I could have eaten a scabby horse, but in Israel they don't sell that in the supermarkets.

Our meals arrived and we filled our faces with the lovely dishes of shawarma, minced veal, tahini, rice and more, each meal was delicious and certainly made that hole in my belly shrink a little, we then headed home for a quick change before getting a taxi back to Tel Aviv, My Beloved and I waited at Mike's Place in Tel Aviv whilst Arnie and Sonya changed then we were on it like sonic once again, we drank we wandered, we drank we wandered, we found a lovely restaurant to eat and then we drank and walked and drank and wandered, eventually stopping at Ben Yehuda for our last drink of the evening, the trouble with The Scots arriving in Tel Aviv is they have bought with them plentiful supplies of oxo cubes and Deveron Whisky, and foam burst shower gel, but really did they have to bring the weather, since the two of them arrived the weather has bottomed out and we have only to get snow to be thinking we have been transported back to Turra toon, next time they come we will make sure it is the height of summer and then nothing can go wrong with the weather, can it?????

Shabbat was spent once again in Tel Aviv, we met at LuLu's for a late breakfast early lunch and then wandered down to Hatachana for a browse and a drink in the sun, then it was a drink inside as the weather had changed yet again, the boys bought us a lovely bottle of Badgers creek and we supped away every drop, today was not a day I would be driving.  From here we headed for the New port area for a quick shop for Mrs D, a small jacket and trainers were purchased, a quick snack under cover as the heavens had opened and the rain was threatening to wash us away, and then it was quick change for The Duncan's again and back to Herzliya for myself and My Beloved to change.

On arriving home we went though to the bedroom to discover the patio door had smashed inside and outside luckily it was still in tact but the splintering was quite unnerving as you could actually here it cracking, well if you were quiet enough that is.

We headed out again and tonight we were treated to a lovely meal by Arnie and Sonya at Meat Bar, it was delicious, but we were all so stuffed we had left no room for drink, so it was a very sober evening but perfect.

Yesterday was a day tour to Jerusalem and Bethlehem and it was a great day out, very tiring and I felt like we walked miles not least of all across the border control into Bethlehem on the West bank, a very surreal feeling walking down the path into Bethlehem, it was such an odd feeling, you can tell the difference between the Israeli side and the Arab side, there is a lot more of a run down look about Bethlehem, and it reminded me of Nazareth. The Church of the Nativity was beautiful inside and the newest part of the church was truly gorgeous, we arrived just as the Morning mass was finishing, and I realise this may sound odd, but it was great to see that the church was full to overflowing with people celebrating Sunday Mass.

We headed for lunch after Bethlehem, this was taken in a Monastery atop a hill, and then it was off to Jerusalem city and a whistle stop tour of the Old city, our guide must have been on speed because one rather large and unfit gentleman told him about his speed walking and it didn't slow him down any.

Today was my third trip to the Old City and still I am learning, our guide was both informative and funny and it was a great day out, with so many highlights, and I can't wait for the next trip.

View from the Church of The Nativity Across the West Bank

Site of the Sheperds flock

 Via Dolorosa ("Way of Grief" in Latin) is a road in the old city of Jerusalem, a path where Jesus was lead in agony, carrying the crucifixion cross.  There are a total of 14 stations along this path, based on events that occurred on the way to the Golgotha hill, the site of crucifixion, which is located at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Eight stations are marked along the old city road, while 6 additional stations are places in the compound of the church. Via Dolorosa is located within the old city of Jerusalem. It starts from the place where he was tried and convicted - near the Lions Gate  on the eastern side (Muslim quarter). It ends in the crucifixion place, Golgotha, where the Church of The Holy Sepulcher is located in the west side of the old city (Christian quarter).

  An old square stone, located on the right side of the structure, has a cavity which is said to be the imprint of Jesus hand.