Jail time

How many years do you get for murder these days?


I don't ask this question lightly, if I have one more sleepless night because my ears are bleeding it may be something I might, if really pushed hard enough, but only as a last resort you understand, be forced into contemplating, this will not just be some passing whim you understand, I will weigh all the pro's and con's, like I will be fed three times a day, and according to a friend of ours I will have my own PC, or did he say I would be arrested by a PC, I'm so tired it's difficult to remember. My washing and ironing will be done for me, but best of all I will no longer have bleeding ears.

What I wouldn't give for a peaceful nights sleep.  I actually think I would sell our Vagina for one, or at least rent her out to a trainee Psychiatrist for study purposes. Our kid on the other hand is so laid back I not sure he would make a good study subject, well not unless you managed to get him out of bed and communicating before supper time that is.  The Prince's wouldn't give me much in the way of profit either, the eldest has got flat feet, and the youngest has round shoulders from carrying the eldest, such is my life, so you see the only one of any use is our Vagina, there is so much going on in her world the Psychiatrist may need a psychologist to get the gist of what's wrong with the circular world of a 27 year old that is more rugby shaped than circular, that is the world not the child....

Back to my bleeding ears, My Beloved and his snoring, how comes someone so beautiful can make a sound only a pig in heat would make, why does he stop breathing, then frighten the bejezus out of me half way through the night when he suddenly remembers to inhale, although that said he is quiet when he stops, hmmm something else to consider, I have plenty of pillows, maybe I should stop using them for my ears and start covering his noisy mouth.

When I did eventually get to sleep Whinny the witch and Henry the Heafer started whining through the walls, I swear to god they must have been standing on stools and squawking down the air con unit because I was convinced I was sharing a bed with them they were that noisy, and there was plenty of room as My Beloved had left for work. That said just because I have a big bed does not mean I want to share it with the bloody neighbours, revenge is a wonderful thing when tasted with your coffee, MTV full blast and the washing machine on full spin, if that doesn't make their eyes water and quieten them down I don't know what will.

My Beloved on the other hand is a work in progress!!!